okay today i learned that apparently the penis has a say in whether or not a child will be a boy or a girl
female sperm swims slower than male sperm, but the males can’t swim for as long as the females. this means that a long penis will be closer to the egg when releasing the sperm, and there will be a higher chance for the child to be a boy.
so in conclusion
if you have a lot of sons you have a big dick
FUCK WHAT KIND OF POST IS THIS
i was sitting in the bathroom today when like 5 girls walked in and i stopped pooping right away cause i didn’t want them to hear me but then i thought why is taking a shit so bastardized today like why cant i poop in peace in the privacy of my own stall without caring if people listen to the flop flop plop plop sploosh sploosh like damn just sing along to the ploop blop and enjoy symphony no. 9 a la my asshole
mY FRIEND CHARLES JU ST POSTJED THIS HE PUT LIGHTS ON H IS FUCKIGN PALM TREE AND he diDNT REALIZE IT WOULD LOok LIKE A COCK JIZZING IM CRYING??? ???? ????////// / / / /
Unknown (via dumbwhitegirl)
my favorite eye color is your eye color and my favorite height is your height and my favorite weight is your weight my favorite hands are your hands my favorite knees are your knees
It’s the year 2005 and since Merlin finally adjusted to modern technology, he decides to start a video diary. Day 536179 seems a normal day, but then Merlin remembers today would have been Arthur’s birthday. He tries to smile, but that’s just one of the hardest things to do nowadays. Even after more than thousand years, he still can’t speak about his lost king without choking up. Because the only thing he can think about is that he wants to just, -just hold Arthur.
so who do I get in touch with about marrying obama’s speechwriter
"what’s up" "fine as hell" to the PRESIDENT
I cry every time I see this